Monday, January 25, 2010

Funny Story from the Hospital Room #1

I wake up out of the drug enduced coma (they had to enduce me, because Id become conscious and scream and writhe, which doesn't do great things for injuries like mine) I finally come out after three days, and wonder why my family is all there. I say to my sister, "Why am I visiting you?" (thinking I'm in Seattle)

So she calmly and collectively explained what had happened to me, without much detail, and I finally understood but...apparently its reasonable to me to think I went in for plastic surgery! And was in a different city!

She points out my face in a mirror, which is broken right down the middle with two teeth protruding, and I question to her "And why did I think THAT would be a good idea?" lol Meaning...I got plastic surgery that made me look like -THAT?!

And at some point, I was cracking my brother up with jokes!? Its usually him cracking me up! He says to me afterward, "Denise you're SO ON right now!" I said "Yeah. On drugs!" Which got another laugh.

By the way, I remember NONE of this. They tell me post-hospital, and I am glad I was filled with THAT attitute and spirit, instead of another kind. It helped them get through it, and helped me process at my own pace.

Am I that positive now? I try to be.

Thanks for reading,

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Introduction to inner life? Difficult!

Everytime I sit down to write about this accident and the recovery following- First of all, it feels wierd without a pencil, since obviously, it's been ages since I've spilled out what goes on in this head of mine! Second, I struggle finding single words to express just the emotion to describe the process. There are SO MANY on this rollercoaster. I guess you can imagine a rollercoaster, and all of the emotions: fear, excitement, ups and downs...

But its so much more than that. It's not just this moment. It's being astounded by the miracles of life and people who step out in love. Its looking backwards and assigning blame and accepting grace. Its, its...

But how is any of it meaningful to YOU, the reader of my blog? Those who actually take the time. Hmmm. Well, Ill give you a glimpse:

It'll be about the accident, social service system, and traffic law. But mostly this is what I ponder as each day I wake up, To decide to be a "light" instead of in darkness. Decide to accept grace and miracles instead of see tragedy and loss. THESE BEING HARD TO DO, especially now, I see this blog as an opportunity to, not only be heard, but perhaps my head and heart have something to share. Something that will touch another person. When tears seem to form in my eyes without me even knowing it anymore, it reminds me how far I've already come in life. I never used to cry. Not even at funerals. I'd just journal it out. Now, I plan to do both.

I hope something in what I'm saying is reaching someone. No one is alone in this world. If anyone experiences pain it helps to know that you can make it out, because someone else did! And..If anything its cathartic to write. So as I come out of this accident and into my future, I hope to find people who share in every emotion! Mostly positive but negative ones do happen! And someone else out there is feeling just like that. You can take it to the bank! I know from this experience. We're in it together.

Thanks for reading!

3 More Accidents at My Intersection!

Just found out today that, well, Ill start with a positive! The teacher's union got together and told my story to each school in Coachella! They are putting a fundraiser together to assist the payment of medical care! Is God here JUST when we need Him? I vote yes, because next month I dont have any income or way to pay.

Okay, on the negative, I was informed that out at the Salton Sea intersection where my T-Bone accident occurred, three more-count them THREE- have happened since 10/30/09. While the light is going in FINALLY, it is extremely confusing to me that they did not race to install one, once I met the "quota" necessary to consider it dangerous. By the way, what # was I? Nine!!!!

So on top of social service dissillusionment: (I get no unemployment (disabled) no disability (but not for longer than a year) no MediCal (I contribute to retirement)...ugh!?

So on top of that, CALTRANS? Dont even get me started.

Thanks for reading,