Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Introduction to inner life? Difficult!

Everytime I sit down to write about this accident and the recovery following- First of all, it feels wierd without a pencil, since obviously, it's been ages since I've spilled out what goes on in this head of mine! Second, I struggle finding single words to express just the emotion to describe the process. There are SO MANY on this rollercoaster. I guess you can imagine a rollercoaster, and all of the emotions: fear, excitement, ups and downs...

But its so much more than that. It's not just this moment. It's being astounded by the miracles of life and people who step out in love. Its looking backwards and assigning blame and accepting grace. Its, its...

But how is any of it meaningful to YOU, the reader of my blog? Those who actually take the time. Hmmm. Well, Ill give you a glimpse:

It'll be about the accident, social service system, and traffic law. But mostly this is what I ponder as each day I wake up, To decide to be a "light" instead of in darkness. Decide to accept grace and miracles instead of see tragedy and loss. THESE BEING HARD TO DO, especially now, I see this blog as an opportunity to, not only be heard, but perhaps my head and heart have something to share. Something that will touch another person. When tears seem to form in my eyes without me even knowing it anymore, it reminds me how far I've already come in life. I never used to cry. Not even at funerals. I'd just journal it out. Now, I plan to do both.

I hope something in what I'm saying is reaching someone. No one is alone in this world. If anyone experiences pain it helps to know that you can make it out, because someone else did! And..If anything its cathartic to write. So as I come out of this accident and into my future, I hope to find people who share in every emotion! Mostly positive but negative ones do happen! And someone else out there is feeling just like that. You can take it to the bank! I know from this experience. We're in it together.

Thanks for reading!

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